Unaccepted Forgiveness
Question
I did and said some awful things to my elderly aunt. I have tried repeatedly to apologize but she hangs up on me. Recently I have been doing lots of things for other people in an effort to make up for my wrongs. I volunteer teaching crafts once a week to people with traumatic brain injuries and I am scheduled to donate a kidney to a stranger. It really bothers me that she won’t forgive me, although my transgressions were great. I don’t know what else to do. I have written apologies and left messages on her answering machine. I do not know if I should continue to ask for forgiveness or accept that she simply will not forgive me.
Answers
Perhaps you will allow me to suggest that it is your aunt’s prerogative to accept, or not to accept, your apology. The fact that she has chosen not to accept it is her decision and right now it seems as if there is nothing else you can do to change her mind. According to the Halacha, it sounds as if you have done everything you are obligated to do to try and get your aunt to forgive you. At this point, you have done your part, and you are not obligated to keep trying.
Best wishes from the AskTheRabbi.org Team