Special Case? – Attending Wedding During Nine Days
Question
Our nephew is getting married the Sunday before Tisha B’Av. Even though one is not supposed to get married then, they are non-observant Jews who don’t know better. My nephews and nieces are mostly intermarried and I have been at odds all these years with my siblings for not attending any of their children’s weddings. This is the first biological nephew or niece of mine who is marrying a Jew, and I have long promised that if any of them would marry a Jew, I would attend. I really do need to attend in order to keep my promise and maintain harmony with my siblings, even though it is a 9-days violation. What would you suggest I do when at the wedding?
Answers
First, please accept my “Mazal Tov.” I appreciate that they may not be having a religious wedding, but the very fact that your nephew is marrying a Jew is cause for great celebration.
I think that under the difficult family circumstances you describe, you are making the right decision to attend your nephew’s wedding. What should you do to lessen the various Nine Days issues? I would suggest that when there is music being played for dancing, you find an unobtrusive reason to leave the hall. As well as that, if the food you are served is Kosher, you should avoid eating anything that has meat in it. But aside from that, there is not much more I can think of for you to do.
Best wishes from the AskTheRabbi.org Team
Most of the food they are serving isn’t kosher, but they are getting us kosher vegetarian airline style meals
It is wonderful that they are taking your Kashrus needs into account! And it is truly Hashgacha Pratis that they are ordering vegetarian meals for you so that you don’t have to try and explain why you cannot eat them during the Nine Days.
Best wishes from the AskTheRabbi.org Team