Son Not Interested

Question

Dear Rabbi,
What is the best way to deal with a high school age son who eschews Torah study in favor of secular entertainment, much of that conflicts with Torah values?

0

Answers

  1. The Just Ask! - AskTheRabbi.org Team

    While your anguish is clear, it is hard for me to know exactly what to tell you, as I do not know your son at all. However, from my experience, I think that the one approach that is almost guaranteed to fail is inflexibility and threats. Even without knowing your son, I would imagine that he is similar to today’s teenagers. That, presumably, means that he has a short(ish) attention span and a great need for visual stimulation. If that is the case, my suggestion would be to challenge your son to reach achievable goals, and thereby receive some kind of a reward. The prize would need to be something that would appeal to him but it should not be something that you object to. Together with that, I would suggest that if there is a possibility of finding him a Chavrusa to achieve the goals that you set out for him, it would presumably be the best option. Someone who you feel is the right fit for your son’s personality, in the hope he will not only reignite your son’s desire to learn Torah but also be someone who your son can open up to and to become a mentor for him.

    Please accept my personal Brachah that your son become a source of immeasurable Yiddish nachas for you and your entire family.

    Best wishes from the AskTheRabbi.org Team