Single Rabbi of Congregation
Question
I have just moved to a new city for a professional opportunity and joined a congregation that apparently hired its young rabbi very recently. I heard that he only got his ordination this past spring. I know for sure he is single. I have attended services several times and I have an extreme crush on him! So much that the very thought of him is interfering with me having kavana during my davening. But I feel I cannot approach him directly and talk about my attraction to him. I don’t know whether or not he is ‘in the market’ And I am too shy to dare initiate a conversation with him myself. He greets me briefly most of the time I see him, but not any differently than he greets other women here. The way he does, it seems like he’s doing it more like it’s a job to him than a social experience. Any suggestions on how I can approach this situation?
Answers
First, please accept my personal Bracha that your move bring you unparalleled success in all your endeavors.
While I appreciate how difficult this situation must be for you, the only advice that I can give you is that you be very cautious in how you proceed and who you tell about your feelings for the Rabbi. If it becomes public knowledge that you are attracted to the Rabbi, you will risk becoming a source of gossip in the community (and possibly outside of it as well), which would be a terrible thing for you.
But what can you do about your feelings? I would suggest that you try finding one person outside of the community who is discreet and who could possibly suggest the idea to the Rabbi. (However, I do feel obliged to point out to you that the Rabbi will likely say no. Not because he has anything against you personally, but simply because of the inappropriateness of his dating one of his congregants. I am sure that there are those in the community who would regard such a relationship by the Rabbi as being unethical and unbecoming.)
Best wishes from the AskTheRabbi.org Team