Lashon Harah
Question
Lashon hara. A colleague of mine is is asking about doing business and building a Relationship with someone I think is disingenuous and a conflict entrepreneur. I stay away from him and no longer keep in contact on social media. He is very enthusiastic about him. He asked me why I don’t have contact with him and why I don’t work with him. If I were to be honest I would tell him, but it would be mostly negative. However, he keeps pressing me and I feel like I’m being dishonest by not telling him what what I really think. He respects my opinion. How much can I say without it being lashon hara? Thank you.
Answers
So long as you are careful about what you say and how you say it, there are no Lashon Harah issues in speaking with your friend. Due to your legitimate concerns, not only is it not an aveirah, but it is actually a Mitzvah to do so. What you must be careful about is not to exaggerate in any way, and to only tell things that you know from personal experience. If you feel that you must add more information that you do not have first-hand knowledge of, you must preface it by telling your friend that you heard this from someone else.
The final thing that you must be careful about is not to say more than is necessary. This means that if you feel that your friend has understood you clearly and he will not get involved with the person, there is no heter to continue telling him more details. The same is true if it is clear that despite whatever you tell him he will not listen to you – then you should stop and not tell him any more.
Best wishes from the AskTheRabbi.org Team