Converting a Non-Jewish Son
Question
I have a 9-month-old son from a previous relationship with a non-Jewish woman. She voluntarily relinquished custody and I am raising him as a single father. I am now in a relationship with a Jewish woman I am hoping to marry someday. She is interested in becoming religiously observant someday and is hoping to bring me in that direction too if we get married. I am strongly considering it myself, but it’ll be a long road. I grew up as the only Jew in my neighborhood, had almost no exposure to Jewish life, and I know almost nothing. Is there any way I can convert my son to Judaism? Can I get him circumcised? Can I educate him in Judaism? Can I take these steps when he is young, or do I have to wait until he grows up and let him make his own choice?
Answers
In theory, the answer to your question is yes, you can convert your son. (I am not addressing the legal aspects of your question, only those which pertain to Jewish Law. For civil legal advice you should consult with a lawyer who is an expert in this particular area of family law.) However, because each situation is unique, it requires the input of a local, recognized authority in Jewish Law. If you have access to a local Orthodox Rabbi who you can ask for assistance, that would be the best option. If you have no one to turn to, please let Just Ask! know where you live and we will try to find you someone who is wise and sensitive for you to speak with.
Best wishes from the AskTheRabbi.org Team
Thank you so much for your response! I have some very good news.
At the same time I wrote to you, I also wrote to a Chabad organization in our area and the rabbi responded quickly. He is away until the fall, but he is eager to set up a meeting with my son, my girlfriend, and I in person when he returns. He is very interested in having my son undergo a conversion and circumcision around that time. He said that once this happens, I can raise my son as a Jew, but he has the option to not be Jewish when he reaches bar mitzvah age.
From a legal standpoint, my girlfriend and I are in touch with a lawyer about having her become the legally adopted mother of my son if we eventually do marry, which is highly likely. We are not engaged or living together yet, mostly because of the distance we live from each other, but hopefully when that occurs, the lawyer said she can get the paperwork going.
I am so happy to hear! I hope and pray that everything progress smoothly and that you be blessed with immeasurable nachat from your son.
Best wishes from the AskTheRabbi.org Team