Observance

Eat cheeseburgers, and in the eyes of Orthodox Jews, you are not ‘frum.’ Drive a car on Shabbat and to many, you have forfeited the ‘frum’ label. At the same time, while most frum Jews are perfectly decent people and are law abiding citizens, it is no secret that there are a sizable number of ‘frum’ Jews who embezzle money, cheat customers in business, molest children, or beat their spouses, all as they continue to observe Shabbat and Kashrut and wear a kippah and most of all, maintain the ‘frum’ label. How can that be? Theft, deceitful business practices, sex offenses, and inflicting physical injury on others must certainly be graver sins than eating treif or violating Shabbat.

Whenever I visit my parents, my mother makes lots of food. Some of it I like and some not. My mother expects me to eat even the food I don’t like. I have told her already what my likes and dislikes are, but she still insists that I eat things I dislike. Am I required to eat food for which I have extreme dislike in order to keep the mitzvah of honoring my parents?

What is a man required to do to clean himself following an intentionally caused seminal emission before being allowed to pray or put on tefillin? Please do not answer by saying it is forbidden to do this. I am single and have an unavoidable physiological need to do it almost daily that Hashem created me and almost every other man with. I am not looking to be told it is forbidden. I am not looking to be judged because I do it. The fact is I will continue to do it out of uncontrollable necessity no matter how much I am told it is sinful. What I am asking is what should I do after in order to be considered clean enough to daven, put on tefillin, enter a synagogue, or study Torah?

What does Jewish teaching say about a person who has an inborn personality trait or physiological or mental health issue that makes it impossible or nearly impossible to avoid breaching a certain negative commandment? For example, one who is unable to restrain oneself from speaking lashon hora, no matter how hard they try, because they have a brain that makes them behave impulsively and lack self-control? Or one who cannot concentrate on his prayers because his mind is too easily distracted and this is unavoidable. Is such a person really responsible for their sins, or are they pardoned for their wrongdoing?

What are the differences between the law of God, statutes, ordinances, decrees - if any?

In what situation can you do a mitzva and then something happens and you have to do the mitzva again in a few weeks and the first one doesn't even count?

I’m curious about what a certain phrase means. What does “patar mitzvos” mean? You see, I am Jewish, not so knowledgeable about religion, but I work with an Orthodox woman who just got married Sunday. I was invited to the wedding. It was not the first Orthodox wedding I have been to, but it was the first with separate seating for men and women at the reception. But there was one man sitting in the women’s section who actually had a place-card there. And he was at my table, together with his mother. He was in his early 20s and his mother told me he was autistic, but he didn’t appear visibly handicapped. He actually seemed very smart and gregarious and he liked me a lot. In fact I liked him so much, if I were closer to his age, I’d be interested in marrying him. But I’m 52 and divorced with a grown son and I obviously couldn’t marry him. The wedding was a very worthwhile experience. His mother was a very nice lady, around my age, and I feel I found a new friend in her. Unlike most guests there, who were dressed formally, she was wearing a plaid top and jean skirt. This made me feel comfortable around her, as I wasn’t so well dressed up myself in a turtleneck and khaki skirt. And she just seemed so relaxed and not overbearing. I exchanged contact info with her, and we plan to get together more in the future when we have more time. She, like me, is a divorcee, close to my age. I asked her out of curiosity why her son was sitting in the women’s section. She said he was “patar mitzvos” and he wanted badly to be with his mother, and my co-worker’s parents honored this request. What does that term mean? And I am curious why that would allow him to sit with the women.