Marriage

Is it true that in ancient Israel a groom was able to use a representative (for example a friend or a brother) in a wedding ceremony, if he himself was unable to attend it due to a journey or something like that?

We do not have a sotah ritual today. But I feel I have reasonable suspicion that my wife cheated on me decades ago before we had our kids. In the absence of the sotah ritual, what is a man supposed to do to find out the truth? Or his he supposed to inquire at all? I am nervous about confronting my wife directly. I have never been jealous, but I just want know. In our first two years of marriage, my wife hung out often with a man she considered her ‘best friend.’ I fully believed he was a platonic friend and approved and trusted her, even though they had dated before and decided not to marry each other. She went over his apartment often and they watched movies together as I worked until late in the evening. Then I got my dream job and we moved away and she lost all but occasional contact with him. We made new friends, started a family, and she stopped contacting him. I have had many happy years of marriage ever since. We have heard that he died about 10 years ago. If my suspicions are ever confirmed true, I have no intention of ending our marriage under any circumstances, regardless of anyone’s opinion. I know several couples who divorced over adultery. But I am the type to forgive, and I have already forgiven others for things that hurt me much more, and I will remain married to my beloved wife until death do us part. I just want to know one way or another for peace of mind’s sake. I would like to know what approach we typically use in Jewish tradition today to ascertain the truth when there is suspicion. We conceived no children during this period of time, but soon after we moved away, we did. I know for sure our firstborn daughter, who is now happily married with children of her own, is my biological child and not his because we have taken DNA tests.

I dont spend quality tireza with my hasband, even when i do its not quality.

Is a Kohen allowed to marry a Jewish woman who lost her virginity to him before marriage?

I would like to know if this wedding band is acceptable for a Jewish wedding

If you are married to someone happily, does that mean your spouse is definitely your bashert? Is it really possible that one can have a happy lifelong marriage to someone (Jewish and otherwise permitted of course) and feel like they have everything they want in a spouse with the same feelings mutually returned, yet their spouse they married was not their bashert and they didn’t know it?

Are Jews permitted to take honeymoons? My fiancé and I are marrying soon after Tisha B’Av. When my parents were married more than 30 years ago, they were told by their rabbi at the time they were not allowed to honeymoon unless they went to Israel, which they did two months after their wedding. My oldest brother was conceived in Israel during that trip. Now I am getting married in just a little over a week and my fiancé and I wish we could take a romantic honeymoon after Sheva Brachas are completed. We have both been to Israel in the past few years and wish we could go somewhere else.

Dear Rabbi, I have a question for your “Ask the Rabbi” series. I have seen that at a Jewish wedding ceremony a glass is smashed right before people shout “Mazal Tov!” Why? Thanks

I have a situation to explain. My niece is getting married soon. She is reformed and so is her fiancé. Her fiancé supposedly is Jewish and was born and raised and is practicing as a reformed Jew. They are having a fully Jewish ceremony with a reformed rabbi and a chuppah. But I have no way of knowing for sure one way or another if my niece’s fiancé is really Jewish by Halacha. There is so much intermarriage and invalid conversion among reformed Jews that many and possibly most of them are not Jews according to Halacha. There are even some reformed rabbis who are not truly Jewish! I have inquired to know if my niece’s fiancé is really Jewish and I cannot get any conclusive answers. They are very assimilated and are clueless themselves and are offended with me asking these types of questions. I know one is not supposed to attend an intermarriage, and there have been many in mine and my husband’s families, but if I do not go to this wedding, my sister will be furious at me and might never talk to me again. I already have a delicate relationship with her and I am doing my best to keep it on good terms. My husband and I have actually been at some weddings in our families, only to find out later the people our relatives married identified as Jewish but were not Halachic Jews. This has been a difficult situation in our family because we are both baalei teshuva and most of our relatives have cultural Jewish identities but know little about religion. Is the prohibition in Jewish law against attending an intermarriage wedding a minor or a major one? Is it ever permitted to attend one in certain situations, such as to preserve healthy relations with relatives? And what do you do when there is not a certain answer, but just doubt over whether one of the partners is Jewish?