Helping a Child: A Cemetery Visit?
Question
Hello Rabbi,
My wife and I are having a bit of a disagreement. I don’t know what right thing to do. My question is: at what age can I take my daughter to visit her grandfather’s gravesite?
A little background: I was born in Russia. I moved to America when I was 5. Most Russia Jews are not very religious but share a lot of values and traditions. One thing I was raised to believe is that you don’t take children with living parents to cemeteries, unless the child is old enough or married.
The issue is my wife’s father who passed 6 months ago, and my wife is only 25. She is having a hard time with the passing. Now, after 6 months, my daughter who is 7 years old is starting to get sad and cries at random times. When we ask her what’s wrong, she says that she misses grandpa. My wife thinks that taking her to visit her grandpa at the cemetery will help, and stop our daughter from having those moments of sadness/crying. I grew up with a tradition to not bring children to cemeteries and am very uncomfortable with this idea. Plus, I think this will not help, and may actually make it worse. I think we should find other ways to deal with those moments.
I would love some advice and guidance in this matter.
Thank you