Question
Is a Jewish boy required to have a bar mitzvah? We started sending our son to bar mitzvah lessons in May and he did not cooperate with the teacher. He was so difficult, the teacher quit after two lessons. Sooner after, we hired another tutor, who quit after four lessons for the same reason. Our son told the second instructor he wasn’t interested in a bar mitzvah and did not understand why he had to do what he was doing. We are panicked now. His bar mitzvah is supposed to take place in November, and time to get him ready is running out. Our best efforts to find any further tutors have failed because he has resisted and proven to be a difficult kid. We are distraught about this not just because of his behavior we can’t control, but also because this is the only opportunity we have for all our family to be together for at least 10 years. And by then, it is not likely all our older relatives will still be around.

Question
If you are married to someone happily, does that mean your spouse is definitely your bashert? Is it really possible that one can have a happy lifelong marriage to someone (Jewish and otherwise permitted of course) and feel like they have everything they want in a spouse with the same feelings mutually returned, yet their spouse they married was not their bashert and they didn’t know it?

Question
Are Jews permitted to take honeymoons? My fiancé and I are marrying soon after Tisha B’Av. When my parents were married more than 30 years ago, they were told by their rabbi at the time they were not allowed to honeymoon unless they went to Israel, which they did two months after their wedding. My oldest brother was conceived in Israel during that trip. Now I am getting married in just a little over a week and my fiancé and I wish we could take a romantic honeymoon after Sheva Brachas are completed. We have both been to Israel in the past few years and wish we could go somewhere else.

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Dear Rabbi, I have a question for your “Ask the Rabbi” series. I have seen that at a Jewish wedding ceremony a glass is smashed right before people shout “Mazal Tov!” Why? Thanks

Question
I have a situation to explain. My niece is getting married soon. She is reformed and so is her fiancé. Her fiancé supposedly is Jewish and was born and raised and is practicing as a reformed Jew. They are having a fully Jewish ceremony with a reformed rabbi and a chuppah. But I have no way of knowing for sure one way or another if my niece’s fiancé is really Jewish by Halacha. There is so much intermarriage and invalid conversion among reformed Jews that many and possibly most of them are not Jews according to Halacha. There are even some reformed rabbis who are not truly Jewish! I have inquired to know if my niece’s fiancé is really Jewish and I cannot get any conclusive answers. They are very assimilated and are clueless themselves and are offended with me asking these types of questions. I know one is not supposed to attend an intermarriage, and there have been many in mine and my husband’s families, but if I do not go to this wedding, my sister will be furious at me and might never talk to me again. I already have a delicate relationship with her and I am doing my best to keep it on good terms. My husband and I have actually been at some weddings in our families, only to find out later the people our relatives married identified as Jewish but were not Halachic Jews. This has been a difficult situation in our family because we are both baalei teshuva and most of our relatives have cultural Jewish identities but know little about religion. Is the prohibition in Jewish law against attending an intermarriage wedding a minor or a major one? Is it ever permitted to attend one in certain situations, such as to preserve healthy relations with relatives? And what do you do when there is not a certain answer, but just doubt over whether one of the partners is Jewish?

Question
May a person with a tattoo be buried in a Jewish cemetery?

Question
Dear Rabbi, what should I do about this? My father wants to fix me up with the daughter of his longtime chavrusa partner. And his partner wants the same for his daughter. But I am not attracted to her at all and I don’t think she’s attracted to me. I don’t think she and I have anything in common. Our families are close and I have known her since she was a little girl. I have no desire to marry her or go out with her even once. But my parents and her parents and are nagging us. My father says she is a perfect match for me and I should at least give her a try. He thinks if I spend a little time talking to her one on one, I will warm up to her. I feel so uninterested, I can’t see that happening. I think the real reason they want to fix us up is because they want to be family to each other.

Question
My family has a foundation for a son that died young. This foundation is in his name and helps Jewish children. If a friend's father died and they designated three places to donate in his honor BUT I choose to donate to my family foundation in the father's memory, is that okay? I have always thought it is okay to donate in memory of someone, no matter where you contribute. I thought it is okay to plant a tree in Israel, or give to your favorite charity or ....if you want, give to who the family designates. Whatever you do is a mitzvah. Am I wrong??