CONFIDENTIAL--For the Attention of Rabbi Lauffer--Not for publication ____________________________________________________________ Dear Rabbi Lauffer: Thanks so much for agreeing to respond confidentially to my question. The situation involves a rabbi in my condo building who has been engaged in a substantial amount of inappropriate behavior. My view is he may well need some sort of assistance, perhaps some sort of peer counseling if it is available. I believe he is an Orthodox rabbi. There have been a number of issues with this rabbi, but what has finally prompted me to write is a series of problems involved with his smoking. This rabbi smokes cigarettes, and he has smoked around the outside of the building near various people’s units—disturbing them with his smoking—and they have had to confront him with the problem. In addition, he has consistently littered the area with his used cigarettes. What finally brought this matter to a head was that we found several used cigarettes and an empty cigarette box that he threw into our building’s garden. Recently, our condo board has confronted him with the littering problem. In a written response to the board, he has denied any responsibility; he asserted to our board that it could not have been him. He specifically claimed to be a “non-smoker.” His statement is quite untrue—he has smoked around the building on numerous occasions, and he has been observed doing so by several people. What is perhaps most astonishing is that he has told the board he is a non-smoker, even though he knows he has been observed smoking. Although I was born and raised Jewish, I am not an expert on these issues. Still, his inconsiderate conduct and his blatant lying certainly seem quite at odds with my expectations of appropriate/ethical behavior as set forth in the Torah, Talmud, etc. I am especially struck by his willingness to lie to our board—claiming to be a non-smoker—even though he knows it is untrue and even though he knows that he has been observed smoking. As a lay person, I suspect that there may be many other “issues” in his life that need to be addressed—it’s probably not a simple issue just with his smoking. Given these facts, my impression is that he may need some sort of assistance—perhaps some sort of peer counseling if it is available to rabbis. I would be interested in your analysis of this matter, and in particular, if there is some sort of process or procedure that is in place to address problems of this sort. Again, thank you very much for agreeing to listen to me and respond confidentially. Bruce

Is there a problem if the newborn son of a kohen at his bris was named without a mention of his being a kohen. For example, he was called Eli ben Shlomo not eli ben Shlomo HaCohen.

Dear Rabbi, I need a Jewish calander. Can you send me it? Thank you Shamim

Dear Rabbi, I need a Jewish calander. Can you send me it? Thank you Shamim

hello i have a very serious problem. my husband and i started to become observant 5 yrs ago, however, during this past year my husband has become too extreme. i am a product of intermarriage and my siblings are intermarried and now he is telling me our daughter can not see them and they can not visit us. surprisingly this is not the serious problem, we were supposed to move to a more observant neighborhood this week, we have rented a house. he moved out without me and is telling me that if i want to move to house with him i must give up the Television. basically, give up the t.v. or we will divorce. i don't like the way he has gone about this and i don't want to give up my t.v. I only have basic channels and I don't watch anything inappropriate. my daughter watches sesame street and educational shows on PBS, and du du fisher video's. what can i do to talk some sense into him? I tried talking to his rabbi but it has made everything worse. his rabbi is hassid and intead of being neutral reinforced ny husbands behavior.