Subject: Matthew 12:31-32 Question: Mat 12:31 Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy [against] the [Holy] Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men. Mat 12:32 And whosoever speaketh a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but whosoever speaketh against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, neither in the [world] to come. Hi, Incase you didn't know the reference I included it preceding this text. This is a personal issue which I wish to ask primarly for a catharsis because I have not really spoken of it. Years ago I started doing Tesuva (by myself because there is no Synagoge in the city. The closest one is like 50 miles+ away) I remembered many things. I also remembered a song I sang in Church wich could go either way. It may or may not be blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. Many days I live wondering if the G-d I care about has to send me there based on some technicality. I still learn and keep the commandments (or try to) for I suppose rightousness sake. It's like church shoved a knive in my heart, twisted it and then pulled it out. So that anyone who actually took religion seriously whould be in pain. This probably is not recognized by Judaism. I was wondering how I should feel about this? This get's emotioal to me at times because I figure I can be as bad as I want to be (which I don't want to be) yet, under this I am condemed already.

Subject: Voodoo Question: Is there such a thing as Voodoo and if so is there a proper response to it? Explination: I had the following episode: I was in my bed after waking up from a dream I don’t remember well enough to document. I heard a noise coming from the living room. It sounded like someone moving or bumping into the furniture. I thought there was someone in the house. I lay in my bed afraid to move as the squeaking of the bed might cause the intruder to know that someone was there. I heard the person walking towards the bedroom. I then heard the person peeing in the toilet. It sounded like a man. I was still afraid to move. I was waiting for him to try the bedroom door as I lock it almost every night. To my surprise the door opened. I thought I must have forgotten to lock it. Later I realized that there was no light that came through the door as it would if the door was actually opened. The light did not pass the threshold of the door. I have the shama written on the door and the doorpost. I closed my eyes hoping that the intruder would think I was asleep. Some time passed and I decided to peak and see who it was. When I peaked I saw a man hovering over me. He was wearing a shirt the same color and style as an Air Force shirt. He had a rose and placed it on my chest. I reached down and picked up the rose. It was tangible and had mass. I could feel the thorns only they did not pierce me. I thought to say ‘It’s beautiful’ because it was. I was afraid he would rape me. He moved and was standing next to the bed facing the opposite wall. I was then afraid he might kill me as I had seen his face and the way he was standing. Instead I spoke “Who are you?” He responded “The Voodoo”. I thought the response strange. I then asked, “What are you doing here?” After that the person burst and vanished. After the episode I got up and took a shower. I check to see if the door was locked and it was. I have schizophrenia. However, untill recently the last 20 days nothing has been tangible before. The tangibleness of the episodes are differnt from my regular episodes. This leads me to think it might be Voodoo. I realized something that I had heard and had all but forgotten years before. On CNN in the bottom headlines I read ‘Michael Jackson hired some High Priest to perform Voodoo on Steven Spielberg and something like his fans or something’. I am a fan of Steven's so it might be Voodoo only I read that years ago. I think I'm finally afraid now. Afraid to wake up afraid to goto sleep afraid of consiousness. How am I supposed to feel?

Do you know the song in the 1995 movie The Baby Sitters Club, in the scene of Kristy's Birthday ?

GOOD MORNING, MY 25 YEAR OLD SON JONATHN WOULD LIKE TO MARRY HIS GIRLFRIEND SHE IS COMING FROM BUFFALO NEW YORK, SHE IS NOT JEWISH. AND COMES FROM A FAMILY THAT DID NOT PRACTICE RELIGION MUCH, SHE WANTS TO CONVERT FOR JONATHAN AND I HOPE FOR HERSELF TOO. I WENT TO AN ORTODOX RABI IN BROOKLYN BECAUSE THAT IS A TRUE CONVERSATION, (WE ARE NOT ORTODOX) THE RABI FIRST ASKED IF SHE IS GOING TO BECOME ORTODOX, I DID NOT LIE I DON'T KNOW. WHAT I KNOW IS JONATHAN AND HER WANT TO LEARN ABOUT THE JEWISH RELIGION, I KNOW THEY WANT TO LEARN BECAUSE IT IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME AND MY HUSBAND. AND I HOPE IT IS IMPORTANT TO THEM TOO. I ALSO WENT TO A CONSERVATIVE RABI, RABI ALVIN KASS AT THE EAST MIDWOOD JCH OCEAN AVE,BROOKLYN NEW YORK, THE CONSERVATIVE RABI HAD NO PROBLEM IN CONVERTING THEM,I ALSO KNOW THAT A CONSERVATIVE RABI'S CONVERSATION IS NOT GOING TO HOLD IN ISRAEL, WHAT AM I TO SAY TO THEM ? BOTH OF THEM ARE LOOKING AT ME FOR ANSWERS, THEY WANT TO LEARN BUT WHERE TO GO AND HOW TO GO ABOUT IT, ANY ADVISE IF YOU CAN?

What was mordichi learning about when haman went to fetch him