Noachide
Question
Subject: Matthew 12:31-32 Question: Mat 12:31 Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy [against] the [Holy] Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men. Mat 12:32 And whosoever speaketh a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but whosoever speaketh against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, neither in the [world] to come. Hi, Incase you didn't know the reference I included it preceding this text. This is a personal issue which I wish to ask primarly for a catharsis because I have not really spoken of it. Years ago I started doing Tesuva (by myself because there is no Synagoge in the city. The closest one is like 50 miles+ away) I remembered many things. I also remembered a song I sang in Church wich could go either way. It may or may not be blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. Many days I live wondering if the G-d I care about has to send me there based on some technicality. I still learn and keep the commandments (or try to) for I suppose rightousness sake. It's like church shoved a knive in my heart, twisted it and then pulled it out. So that anyone who actually took religion seriously whould be in pain. This probably is not recognized by Judaism. I was wondering how I should feel about this? This get's emotioal to me at times because I figure I can be as bad as I want to be (which I don't want to be) yet, under this I am condemed already.