Inter-Communal Disagreements
Question
Unfortunately, too often, it happens that our Jewish communities have various disagreements about various issues leading to splits in synagogues and communities. Sometimes the local rabbis split up – different ones taking different sides. Some of these rabbis will have either self-proclaimed or recognized statuses within the community as “leaders” or as “rabbinical counsels.” At least sometimes, neither side is completely right on any one issue, and both sides may do things that likely they should not (note when couples fight almost always neither side is “right” and both MUST make concessions for the relationship to move forward in a positive direction – at least that is the current thinking in modern day couples therapy, which would seem relevant, but perhaps it’s not relevant).
These machlokes’ sometimes affect the livelihoods of various people or access to other necessities of various parties.
Often various congregates are asked to take sides on various issues. Perhaps sometimes it is appropriate for some congregates to take a position, and perhaps, depending on the degree of a particular “transgression” that is appropriate, perhaps not).
Perhaps you could give some general guidance. I think this could be useful for many communities at different times.
For example, how to disagree with respect. When should one go to beit din vs. a court or the press to resolve issues (and of course the importance of seeking compromise rather than an actual din Torah)? As some possible examples of some specifics that may or may not be worth discussing, sometimes it may be appropriate (possibly for a rav or possibly someone else) to shame someone into doing the right thing (if there is no other way), but of course, if one errs on this issue, they may be guilty of lashon ha ra or even a chilul hashem.
Although the specifics of these situations will of course change what the appropriate action to take is in any given situation, some at least minimal, general advice divorced from the specifics of any situation might be useful.
Thank you in advance for addressing these difficult issues.
Answers
What a painful subject. Yes, it is true that there are sometimes disagreements between people or communities that spill over into the wider community. And that is a truly terrible thing.
What should one do? The first thing is to never act alone on the advice of oneself. It always imperative to seek out Daas Torah. That means going to a recognized authority and asking him what is the correct way to deal with the situation. If the Daas Torah you normally approach is one of the people involved in the disagreement, it may mean that you should approach someone else instead for Halachic direction.
If a person feels that he needs to approach a Beis Din for a ruling, he may do so. All Batei Din are obligated to first try and reach some kind of a compromise between the two parties before they start to adjudicate.
It is always – but always – forbidden to turn to the secular courts without receiving permission from a recognized Beis Din. It is actually an Issur Dioraysa and the spiritual ramifications are terrible.
In the same way, it would also be forbidden to turn to the printed media and/or social media without the sanction of a recognized authority who is an expert in the Halachos of Lashon Hara.
In general, the Rabbis speak about the terrible toxicity of machlokes and the awful reality that will belong to the Ba’al Machlokes in the Spiritual Realms. If a person is constantly aware of the terrible repercussions that await anyone who of being actively involved in stoking machlokes, they will understand that the only really viable option is to stay as far away from machlokes as possible.
Best wishes from the AskTheRabbi.org Team