Differing Customs for Three Weeks

Question

I have been keeping the three weeks seriously every year. I also go to Israel around this time every year and it feels strange that the time of year that I should be joyous that I am “home” I am supposed to be “mourning”, but I do it every year even when it feels un natural and counter intuitive. This past year I opened up an old Tanach I found that was my father’s when he was a kid, there was a place holder and the page was in Yecheszkel. It mentioned Tammuz and scolding benei Yisrael at the time for mourning tammuz, a false god. Now that we are almost in Tammuz, I keep thinking about what I read. I am about to go to Israel again and I feel so strange now that I learned about this avoda zara of mourning tammuz.

I learned that Sefardi customs differ with regard to the 3 weeks. Why do customs differ when it comes to Tammuz mourning practices? I am Ashkenazi, but can I follow the customs of Sefardi when it comes to mourning at this time?

My husband doesn’t care and thinks I should do what I feel is right. Is it an aveira to take upon ourselves a Sefardi custom?

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Answers

  1. The Just Ask! - AskTheRabbi.org Team

    I don’t think that it can be described as being an aveira. However, I also do not think that it is something that you should do. The customs for the Three Weeks are defined by whether a person is Sephardic or Ashkenazic, and it should not be defined by a person’s personal feelings.

    Please allow me to add a personal comment. As I always tell my Talmidim and Talmidos, Judaism is the most realistic religion in the world. Judaism understands that a person will often have different emotions welling up within them. Judaism teaches that having disparate feelings is not contradictory. Your feelings of joy and excitement to be in Israel are actually inspiring, and the fact that you are here at a time when we are about to begin mourning the build-up to the destruction of the two Holy Temples simply means that you need to feel the loss of the most spiritual place in the world at the same time that you are enjoying every minute at being here.

    Best wishes from the AskTheRabbi.org Team