Living With Guilt

Question

How do I live with remorse and guilt?

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Answers

  1. The Just Ask! - AskTheRabbi.org Team

    The healthiest way is not to live “with it.” Rather, you should not allow your remorse and guilt define your future and not let them rule over your life!

    How does one do this? By going through the processes of Teshuvah – repentance. According to Rabbeinu Yonah, the path to genuine rectification is to always be careful and to avoid any kind of a situation that might let whatever happened happen again in the future. Rabbeinu Yonah teaches that if one is successful at doing so, they have proved in the most definite way possible that they have atoned for what they did in the past.

    In my humble opinion, that can only be achieved when a person does not focus on their past behavior. Rather, to focus on the future. Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky, known as the Steipler Gaon, writes in Kreina Deigrata volume 1 letter 11, that a person should face forwards and ignore the past. That means that for now, to put the past on hold and concentrate on doing what Hashem wants you to do. Day by day. This is the path to removing the negative forces of remorse and guilt without removing a person’s responsibility for whatever they did.

    May Hashem grant you the inner strength to be able to move forwards from now on in a healthy and positive way.

    Best wishes from the AskTheRabbi.org Team