Married to One’s Soulmate

Question

How do I know for sure if I married my beshert, if I married the right person? Is it possible to have what one perceives is a happy marriage with someone, only to be unaware that they married the wrong person than whom G-d has intended?

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Answers

  1. The Just Ask! - AskTheRabbi.org Team

    Marriage takes a lot of hard work. In Jewish tradition, there is a concept of a Zivug Rishon and a Zivug Sheni and a Zivug Shlishi etc. Our Sages teach that if a person is lucky enough to find their Zivug Rishon, the relationship will need little effort to reach contentment. The further away a person’s soulmate is from the magical number one, the harder the couple will have to work to reach contentment. There is actually a source that teaches that the only couple in the Torah who married as a Zivug Rishon was Yaakov and Rachel. This teaches us that it is extremely unlikely that we will find our Zivug Rishon, or Beshert as it is called.

    However, this does not mean that there is a fundamental flaw within your marriage. It just alerts you to the fact that in married life it is essential that we take into account that fact that our partners have different personalities, and that we should always take their feelings into consideration.

    Best wishes from the AskTheRabbi.org Team