Am I Good or Bad?

Question

Dear Rabbi,
In the eyes of G-d, am I more of a good or a bad person? Will G-d give me more of a reward or a punishment?

I will tell you about who I am. To start, here’s the good I have done. I have worked as a firefighter for over 20 years and saved lots of lives. I have performed lots of random acts of kindness. I give lots of money to charitable causes. And I volunteer my time to help underprivileged children. I also teach about fire safety. And I donate blood every two months.

Now here’s some of the bad I have done. I abandoned the practice Orthodox Judaism where I was brought up and where I had a lot of unpleasant experiences. Since then, I have routinely badmouthed the Jewish religion, the community of my upbringing, the yeshiva I went to, lots of rabbis, and the Torah. I am married to a Christian woman and have two sons. I don’t consider myself Christian, but I occasionally accompany her to church events and I celebrate Christian holidays in addition to Hanukkah.

According to Jewish belief, what am I considered in the eyes of G-d? How does G-d judge me?

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Answers

  1. The Just Ask! - AskTheRabbi.org Team

    I hope that you will not be surprised to hear that I cannot answer your question. The only One who can possibly answer it is Hashem. Because when Hashem judges, He does so taking every single detail of the person’s life into account. So, for example, your having saved so many lives over the years is a detail that I am sure will play a great part in your judgment – as will your abandoning your heritage. Which will “tip the balance”? I don’t think any human being can truly answer that question. And that is the way that it is supposed to be because such incredibly delicate and sensitive assessments require the all-seeing and all-understanding perception and compassion of Hashem.

    Best wishes from the AskTheRabbi.org Team