How to Value Mitzvot
Question
Hi Rabbi Lauffer,
I just had a troubling mental conversation with myself. I don’t know why this popped into my head but I asked myself how much do I really value mitzvos. If someone would offer me $1000 would I sell him my mitzvah of ner Chanukah from tonight? Then I thought no what about about $10,000 then I thought no probably not. Then I thought what if someone plunked down $100,000 cash in front of me for my mitzvah of first night of Chanukah. I’m afraid I would have a hard time not selling it. And this makes me sad. I wish I could say even if he gave me a 100 million I wouldn’t sell it but I know I’d be lying to myself. I would like to know what I can do about this. What sefer to learn? How to value mitzvos more? Please give me a thorough answer I’m very troubled by this.
Thank you for your time!
Answers
Firstly, you don’t really know what you’d do, as no one has ever offered you $100,000 for one of your Mitzvahs! If such a thing were to happen, you might surprise yourself with your commitment to the Mitzvah!
In all events, whilst I truly appreciate your candor and your anguish I am not sure that you have too much to feel bad about! Every day we ask Hashem not to test us. What does that mean? That we shouldn’t be placed in a situation where we see how much our Mitzvot are worth in our eyes. In effect, we are telling Hashem that we do not want to know! Why is that? Because we are human beings and we do not have perfect spiritual balance. That means that almost every single one of us has his own price. Instead of berating yourself at how fickle you are, I suggest that that take pride in the fact that you keep the Mitzvahs and that you are making your Father in Heaven immeasurably happy by trying to do as He asks.
Best wishes from the AskTheRabbi.org Team